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Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

‘Special’ win for cricketers April 15, 2026
Appleby cricketer Sam Downing has won the ILT premier league bowling cup, ILT all-rounder award and club captain of the year at the Southland Cricket awards. PHOTOS: SUPPLIED Two Hawke Cup players scooped the top individual club trophies at the Southland Cricket awards. Appleby’s Sam Downing won the ILT premier league bowling cup, ILT all-rounder […]
Sandy Eggleston
Region’s home values continue to grow April 15, 2026
Photo: ODT files Home values continue to tick upward in Southland.
Medical system to get priority for helium April 15, 2026
Supply issues stemming from the US-Iran conflict are yet to significantly impact the medical sector, Pharmac says.
Mitchell celebrates milestone game April 15, 2026
The Southland club rugby competitions got under way for the majority of teams on Saturday, while the division one grade began the previous week.
Ute still working hard April 15, 2026
Doug Everett bought his Toyota Hilux to use on his Tuatapere farm in 1984. It is still being driven today. PHOTO: SUPPLIED A ute that began its working life on a Southland farm is still on the go more than 40 years later.
Sandy Eggleston
Bluff oysters confirmed for festival menu April 15, 2026
The news Bluff oyster lovers have been waiting for has been confirmed — Bluff oysters will be on the menu at this year’s Bluff Oyster & Food Festival on May 23.
‘Money down the gurgler’ as toilets trashed again April 15, 2026
The Taramea Bay public toilet block has been vandalised repeatedly since opening last year. PHOTO: SUPPLIED Riverton’s new $620,000 Taramea Bay public toilet and shower block has again been trashed by vandals.
‘Never seen anything like it’: tornado hits April 15, 2026
Charlene Smith managed to catch the aftermath of the electrical storm that ripped across Invercargill on Monday afternoon pounding the city with large hail and a tornado. PHOTO: CHARLENE SMITH Invercargill residents watched in awe on Monday as a long funnel cloud developed into a tornado during a storm that dumped 50-cent sized hailstones on […]
‘Superstar’ makes encore performance April 15, 2026
Ready to perform are (from left) Vanessa Crawford, Wendy Cook, Carey Alderton, Hans Van Der Linden, Jeff Rea and Bernard McKone, the cast involved in West Otago’s production of Jesus Christ Superstar 26 years ago are continuing their legacy in this year's show including musical director Jeff Rea, who starred in the maiden production as […]
Gemma Sinclair
Half a century of work recognised April 15, 2026
Lions 202F district governor Shona Cook presents Wyndham Lions Club member Trevor Stewart with a Chevron award and pin for his 50 years of volunteer work. PHOTO: SUPPLIED BY DAVID SCOTT Trevor Stewart’s 50 years of service to his community were celebrated this month by the Wyndham Lions Club.
Gerrit Doppenberg

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