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New Zealand Blog News Service Dec 24, 2024

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Opinion: I don’t know how to be any more clear. No, really, I don’t. Please help October 17, 2026
By Christopher Luxon. “I don’t know how to be any clearer with you, mate.” That’s what I said to a Press reporter yesterday when he asked me whether I would still be open to working with the O party, Opportunity. He was immediately rude to me, saying that I could be clearer, that I could […]
Ben Uffindell
Wallabies poised to complete annual self-sacrifice ritual to help maintain New Zealanders’ will to live October 17, 2026
Australia’s national rugby team, the Wallabies, are tonight poised to complete another in a series of long-standing self-sacrifice show matches to help out New Zealanders by giving them a reason to believe in something. The ritual, formally known as the Bledisloe Cup, was established by Australia as a form of investment in New Zealand, underpinned […]
Ben Uffindell
NZR agree to drop legal action if Papua New Guinea Chiefs’ mascot is a sufficiently sexy CGI animal October 9, 2026
After a week of heated back and forth between New Zealand Rugby and Australia’s National Rugby League over a new Papua New Guinea expansion team, NZR has reached out an olive branch, saying it may agree to drop its legal action if the PNG Chiefs differentiate themselves from the Waikato Chiefs in a sufficiently enticing […]
Ben Uffindell
Green Party promises to nationalise the Kiwibank sheep October 8, 2026
In perhaps its boldest policy proclamation of the campaign, the Green Party has pledged to nationalise Buck, the Kiwibank sheep, effectively putting it in the public domain. The promise comes on the back of an extensive legal campaign by Kiwibank to stop New Zealanders sexualising the sheep by issuing legal letters and copyright takedown notices […]
Ben Uffindell
New Zealand man identified as only other person to have survived multiple public executions October 8, 2026
*Face blurred due to name suppression. News media have been pleasantly surprised to find yet another New Zealand connection to an international story of horror or senseless tragedy. As American doctors and lawyers seek answers in the case of a woman who survived two lethal injections, the search for precedent has turned surprisingly to this […]
Ben Uffindell
Fears grow that human content could pose enormous threat to AI creators October 7, 2026
Fears continue to swirl around the potential implications of so-called human-generated content (media produced by sentient beings as opposed to self-trained artificial intelligence), with many experts and whistleblowers warning that by the year 2030, human activity could make up as much as 20% of all internet traffic. “You can already see this in what you […]
Ben Uffindell
Opportunity deputy only expressed voting preference under ‘immense pressure’ from reporter for Kea Kids October 7, 2026
Potential trouble has reared its head for the Opportunity party (O) today, after its deputy leader expressed a preference for National over Labour, an unforced error that could compromise its alleged neutrality. But Daniel Eb, deputy to O leader Qiulae Wong (Q), said he wasn’t thinking entirely straight when he gave the answer, crumbling under […]
Ben Uffindell
Luxon assures New Zealanders no foreign aid will be diverted from countries they’ve ever heard of October 6, 2026
Under fire today for the announcement that National, if re-elected, will put additional money into Pharmac by taking it out of existing foreign aid, somehow still Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has sought to tamp down fears, saying he can say “with confidence” most New Zealanders will “never have heard of these countries.” “And certainly you’ve […]
Ben Uffindell
LIVE: Luxon v. Hipkins, first TVNZ debate October 6, 2026
This concludes our live coverage of tonight’s debate lowlights. 8:32pm: And now to the panel to tell you what you’ve just seen. 8:30pm: Luxon acknowledges more than 70,000 “serious questions” in Gaza. 8:26pm: Huge relief: the word “hole” has only been used once this debate. 8:23pm: Moderating debacle: why won’t Jack Tame ask Chrises about […]
Ben Uffindell
Government books looking better than expected thanks to cool holographic Duraseal September 30, 2026
Today Finance Minister Nicola Willis is touting this year’s Pre-Election Fiscal Update (PREFU? Prefoo? Really?), after Treasury said government books were looking “much better than expected” due to a fresh new coating of holographic neon yellow Duraseal from Warehouse Stationery. Willis showed off the books to media for the first time today, enthusiastically tilting them […]
Ben Uffindell

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