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Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Pilgrimage route cut as wildfires spread August 18, 2025
A crew from the Spanish Military Emergencies Unit battles a fire that broke out in Ourense Mountains in Galicia at the weekend. Photo: Anadolu via Getty Images Raging wildfires in Spain spread to the southern slopes of the Picos de Europa mountain range on Monday and authorities closed part of the popular Camino de Santiago […]
Teens caught trying steal $700 of chocolate: police August 18, 2025
Photo: Getty Images A member of the public was assaulted trying to stop four teens from stealing chocolate worth hundreds of dollars from an Auckland supermarket, police say.
Much improvement needed, says Pumas' skipper August 18, 2025
Argentina's Julian Montoya pops up in a scrum against the All Blacks in Cordoba. Photo: Getty Images Argentina are going to have to improve both their discipline and defence if they are to bounce back against New Zealand in the Rugby Championship this weekend, warned captain Julian Montoya.
Call to let tourists over 35 work in NZ August 18, 2025
Currently, working holiday visas are available to people aged between 18 and 35. Photo: RNZ The age for New Zealand's working holiday visas should be raised to 50 to help hike international visitor numbers, a tourism operator says.
Luxon skips Coalition of the Willing meeting August 18, 2025
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon says he's joined the meetings in the past. Photo: RNZ By Anneke Smith of RNZ Prime Minister Christopher Luxon did not dial in to the latest Coalition of the Willing meeting because of time zone differences.
High Court case and contentious letterbox drop: Who is Andrew Clark? August 18, 2025
Nelson-based Andrew Clark is running for mayor of Invercargill while simultaneously going for the top job in Tasman. Photo: Matthew Rosenberg/LDR An Invercargill mayoral candidate says he is still fit for office despite past events landing him in the headlines and court.
Matthew Rosenberg
Govt announces big changes for building consents August 18, 2025
Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk. Photo: RNZ The coalition government is scrapping the building consents regime to ease the liability load on local councils.
Major shake-up of building consents August 18, 2025
Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk. Photo: RNZ The coalition government is scrapping the building consents regime to ease the liability load on local councils.
Kiwi wins second Cincinnati Open crown August 18, 2025
Erin Routliffe (left) and Gabriela Dabrowski with their Rookwood Cups. Photo: Getty Images New Zealand tennis player Erin Routliffe has won back-to-back doubles titles at the Cincinnati Open.
Southern hospital faulted for 'inadequate systems' August 18, 2025
Photo: Getty Images The death of a patient during a failed brain operation at a southern hospital has led to Health New Zealand being slammed for ‘‘inadequate systems’’.

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