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Post date June 27, 2022
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Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Terrorist considered 'fit and proper' in gun checks October 9, 2024
Fifty-one worshippers at two mosques in Christchurch were killed in March 2019. Photo: RNZ By Danielle Clent of RNZ A high trust model in the firearms licensing process saw the man responsible for the Christchurch terror attack considered "fit and proper", an inquest has heard.
Terrorist considered 'fit and proper' in gun checks October 9, 2024
Fifty-one worshippers at two mosques in Christchurch were killed in March 2019. Photo: RNZ By Danielle Clent of RNZ A high trust model in the firearms licensing process saw the man responsible for the Christchurch terror attack considered "fit and proper", an inquest has heard.
Tributes for couple killed in Canterbury crash October 9, 2024
Frank Brenmuhl. PHOTO: FEDERATED FARMERS Tributes are being paid to a much-loved former Reefton school teacher and her Federated Farmers stalwart husband, killed following a car crash on the Canterbury Plains.
Laura Mills
‘It’s not enough’ October 9, 2024
Gore Health chief executive Karl Metzler says the Dunedin hospital woes are a worrying sign of underfunded healthcare. PHOTO: GERRIT DOPPENBERG A Gore health official says the Dunedin hospital is another sign of underinvestment and a lack of responsibility from governments, current and past, to fix the healthcare system.
Gerrit Doppenberg
Getting everyone together October 9, 2024
Southland farmers Vaughan Webber (left) and Karl Laurence organised a chance for farmers to get together and touch base at the Pioneer Tavern in Edendale after prolonged rain. PHOTO: GERRIT DOPPENBERG After months of rain and tough conditions, farmers have been reminded of the importance of getting away from it all, with a cold beer […]
Gerrit Doppenberg
Care urged after floods October 9, 2024
A deluge of rain forced street closures and delays around the Gore district last Friday.
Gerrit Doppenberg
Blackmount road shutting due to slip October 9, 2024
The Blackmount road in Southland is being closed tomorrow following the discovery of a slip.
Good ol’ country music down South October 9, 2024
The Southern Stomp will bring a lineup of New Zealand country music stars to Gore in November. PHOTO: SUPPLIED Get your wranglers on, pull up those boots, and get ready for a big weekend of country music this November.
Gerrit Doppenberg
Brigade to mark 70th year October 9, 2024
Waikaka Volunteer Fire Brigade Chief Fire Officer Mervyn Clifford (left) and life member Bill Sutherland gear up to celebrate 70 years of the Waikaka Volunteer Fire Brigade soon. PHOTO: EVELYN THORN A milestone is coming up for volunteers in Waikaka.
Evelyn Thorn
Flood skip dumpers admonished October 9, 2024
Skips are being provided on Bayview Road in St Clair - one of the Dunedin suburbs hit by torrential rain in early October. Photo: Stephen Jaquiery Inconsiderate people have been called out for dumping general waste in skips set up for flood-hit residents in South Dunedin.

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