nzpolitics

Nation reconsidering whether we should have Laws at all November 4, 2026
In a stark shift in mood today, New Zealanders are increasingly wondering whether they should continue following Laws, and political parties across the country are giving serious thought to whether they should get rid of them. A series of political parties, most chiefly Opportunity (O), are expressing particularly strong views about Laws. O leader Q […]
Ben Uffindell
Luxon somehow loses US midterm elections November 4, 2026
In yet another blow to the National Party’s stuttering campaign, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has somehow lost the United States midterm elections, despite not qualifying for, nor participating, in any of them. Luxon was informed by aides late this afternoon that things were looking “pretty bad” for him across the country, and while polls were […]
Ben Uffindell
Tensions flare as Labour seeks to win back Green votes by backing rival gang October 20, 2026
Campaigns are usually something of a cold war, with parties vying for supremacy without direct confrontation. But this campaign could be poised to turn hot, as Labour has sought to stop the Greens’ incursion into their turf by backing a different gang to them. With the Greens offering at least a tacit endorsement to the […]
Ben Uffindell
Independent family-owned supermarkets independently suffer identical independent pricing faults October 20, 2026
Several independent, family-owned supermarkets across the North Island yesterday independently experienced independent pricing errors at independent but identical times. The errors, which affected presumably-independent prices at New World supermarkets, were not thought to be connected, as each supermarket was owned and operated independently of each other, as was made clear by dozens of near-identical but […]
Ben Uffindell
Did you know you can save money at New World by not making eye contact with the digital price tag? And other useful shopping tips! October 19, 2026
It’s tough out there. $10 for a potato!? Well, no. Not even close at all, actually. That’s astronomically more than it is. But you could imagine; the mind is a beautiful thing. Nonetheless, kiwi families are struggling, and so are human ones. But there are still a surprising number of ways to save money on […]
Ben Uffindell
Opinion: I don’t know how to be any more clear. No, really, I don’t. Please help October 17, 2026
By Christopher Luxon. “I don’t know how to be any clearer with you, mate.” That’s what I said to a Press reporter yesterday when he asked me whether I would still be open to working with the O party, Opportunity. He was immediately rude to me, saying that I could be clearer, that I could […]
Ben Uffindell
Wallabies poised to complete annual self-sacrifice ritual to help maintain New Zealanders’ will to live October 17, 2026
Australia’s national rugby team, the Wallabies, are tonight poised to complete another in a series of long-standing self-sacrifice show matches to help out New Zealanders by giving them a reason to believe in something. The ritual, formally known as the Bledisloe Cup, was established by Australia as a form of investment in New Zealand, underpinned […]
Ben Uffindell
NZR agree to drop legal action if Papua New Guinea Chiefs’ mascot is a sufficiently sexy CGI animal October 9, 2026
After a week of heated back and forth between New Zealand Rugby and Australia’s National Rugby League over a new Papua New Guinea expansion team, NZR has reached out an olive branch, saying it may agree to drop its legal action if the PNG Chiefs differentiate themselves from the Waikato Chiefs in a sufficiently enticing […]
Ben Uffindell
Green Party promises to nationalise the Kiwibank sheep October 8, 2026
In perhaps its boldest policy proclamation of the campaign, the Green Party has pledged to nationalise Buck, the Kiwibank sheep, effectively putting it in the public domain. The promise comes on the back of an extensive legal campaign by Kiwibank to stop New Zealanders sexualising the sheep by issuing legal letters and copyright takedown notices […]
Ben Uffindell
New Zealand man identified as only other person to have survived multiple public executions October 8, 2026
*Face blurred due to name suppression. News media have been pleasantly surprised to find yet another New Zealand connection to an international story of horror or senseless tragedy. As American doctors and lawyers seek answers in the case of a woman who survived two lethal injections, the search for precedent has turned surprisingly to this […]
Ben Uffindell

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