September 2024

Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Plane that crashed killing 181 could have kept flying - investigators July 27, 2025
The wreckage from the plane crash at Muan Airport in South Korea late last year. Photo: Getty Images A Jeju Air plane that crashed in December during an emergency landing after a bird strike could have kept flying on the damaged engine that was still working after pilots shut down the other one, according to an update […]
More overseas building materials to be let in July 27, 2025
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk. Photo: RNZ The government hopes opening up the ability for building companies to buy more overseas material will cut down the price of construction.
Strip club forced to remove posts about women suing firm July 27, 2025
Women at the Wellington Calendar Girls club were told to clear out their lockers after attempting to bargain collectively in 2023. Photo: Google maps The owners of the Calendar Girls strip clubs have been forced to take down posts identifying dancers suing the firm.
Winter driving: 'Is three minutes worth your safety?' July 27, 2025
File photo: Supplied/Joseph Mooney The Rental Vehicle Association has urged motorists to be cautious on the roads, as cold winter days are making conditions challenging.
Israel 'quite clearly' breaking international law - Albanese July 27, 2025
Palestinians wait to receive food from a charity kitchen, in Gaza City. Photo: Reuters Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese says Israel has "quite clearly" breached international law by limiting food deliveries to starving civilians in Gaza as he escalates his criticism of the Jewish state.
Battered Tasman in for more rain as warnings, watches issued July 27, 2025
MetService said there was a front moving east across the country which was expected to bring heavy rain and strong north to northeast winds. Image: MetService In a gloomy start to the week several severe weather warnings have been issued, with high winds and heavy rain expected from late Monday into early Wednesday.
Funding to councils to be throttled for using too many road cones July 26, 2025
Road cones mark works near the intersection of Rattray and MacLaggan Sts in central Dunedin. PHOTO: GERARD O’BRIEN The government will require councils to use fewer road cones, or miss out on government funding for roads.
Lawson 10th in Belgian GP sprint, one better in qualifying July 26, 2025
Liam Lawson in action during qualifying. Photo: Reuters Formula One champion Max Verstappen won a "cat and mouse" Belgian Grand Prix sprint in Red Bull's first race under the leadership of Laurent Mekies following Christian Horner's dismissal, while New Zealand's Liam Lawson posted a 10th-placed finish.
'Strong evidence to act': Calls grow for social media age limit July 26, 2025
File photo: Getty Images A University of Auckland senior research fellow is calling for social media platforms to introduce enforced age limits, to help protect young people from harm.
Wallabies furious after controversial late try gives Lions win July 26, 2025
Hugo Keenan crosses the line for the Lions to seal an epic comeback for the visitors. Photo: Getty Images The Wallabies have suffered a heart-breaking series defeat to the British and Irish Lions losing the second Test at the MCG 29-26 after a controversial last-minute try.

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September 2024

Investors sell off blue chip stocks to snap up Fletcher shares – Market close

So This Happened – Lucy & Gem

Fletcher Building capital raise weighs heavily on NZ sharemarket – Market close

Did central banks get the inflation crisis right?; Donald Trump weighs in US economy in ‘bad shape’

PM needs to focus on economic recovery not gang patches – Steven Joyce

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