2021

Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Research project uses sound to protect native birds December 21, 2025
Feral cat caught in a live trap in Fiordland National Park. Photo: RNZ/Cole Eastham-Farrelly By Kate Green of RNZ A research project has discovered a way to use sound as a harmless deterrent to keep cats away from nesting native birds.
Sound could help protect our native birds from cats December 21, 2025
Feral cat caught in a live trap in Fiordland National Park. Photo: RNZ/Cole Eastham-Farrelly By Kate Green of RNZ A research project has discovered a way to use sound as a harmless deterrent to keep cats away from nesting native birds.
Letters to the Editor: protesters, Labour and anti-Semitism December 21, 2025
Surrey St Flood Action’s Lynne Newell and members Neil Johnstone and Julian Doorey. PHOTO: STEPHEN JAQUIERY Today's Letters to the Editor from readers cover topics including when protesters become councillors, changing the Labour Party's name, and anti-Semitic hate speech.
Obituary: Bouquet residence, the lady of the house is no longer in December 21, 2025
Patricia Routledge in a scene from the BBC series Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV. Photos: Getty Images PATRICIA ROUTLEDGE Actress Patricia Routledge could turn her hand to any form of acting — which was a blessing and a curse.
Obituary: Costa Botes, film-maker December 21, 2025
Prolific documentary and filmmaker Costa Botes. Photos: supplied Film-maker Costa Botes only made it into film school because someone else dropped out, but it was the entree into a life immersed in cinema.
Obituary: Latta talked to us about ourselves December 21, 2025
Nigel Latta at his writing desk in Consultancy House in Dunedin in 2008. Photo: Linda Robertson NIGEL LATTA Psychologist, author Nigel Latta did more than anyone to popularise psychology in New Zealand.
Obituary: D’Angelo, musician December 21, 2025
D'Angelo performs at The Apollo Theater in New York City on February 27, 2021. Photo: Getty Images Grammy-winning R&B singer D’Angelo blended hip-hop grit, emphatic soul and gospel-rooted emotion into a sound that helped spearhead the neo-soul movement of the 1990s.
'It's my favourite thing to do': Young pianist charms shoppers December 21, 2025
Isaac Horwood, 10, of Dunedin, plays the keyboard for shoppers at the Otago Farmers Market on Saturday. Photos: Peter McIntosh A Dunedin 10-year-old wowed listeners at the Otago Farmers Market yesterday, even drawing a tear or two from some weary Christmas shoppers.
Ruby Shaw
US seizes second oil tanker off Venezuela coast December 21, 2025
A U.S. military helicopter flies over the Panama-flagged Centuries, which was intercepted by the U.S. Coast Guard, days after US President Donald Trump announced a "blockade" of all sanctioned oil tankers entering and leaving Venezuela, east of Barbados in the Caribbean Sea. Photo: DHS/Handout via REUTERS The United States has intercepted an oil tanker off […]
Anthony Joshua breaks Jake Paul's jaw in 'clown show' bout December 20, 2025
Anthony Joshua corners Jake Paul before delivering the knockout blow that left the influencer's jaw broken in two places. Photo: Reuters Former heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua delivered a dose of reality to American Jake Paul on Friday with a savage sixth-round knockout that left the social-media-star-turned prize-fighter nursing a jaw broken in two places.

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2021

Genesis Energy partners with Australian solar farm developer

Mainfreight half year profit up 79% to $130m

Investor confidence hits five-year high – ASB survey

Investor confidence hits five-year high – ASB survey

New GE Burger Should Carry Warning

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