December 21, 2020

Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Plantations daunting for neighbours July 22, 2025
PHOTO: SHAWN MCAVINUE Ngāi Tahu Forestry bought nearly 2500ha of sheep and beef farms in Hindon to plant trees.
Shawn McAvinue
Call to tackle feral cats July 22, 2025
PHOTO: STEPHEN JAQUIERY A feral cat stalks prey on Otago Peninsula in this file photo. Predator Free Dunedin project lead Rhys Millar says the group "strongly supports" the inclusion of feral cats as a national target species in the Predator Free 2050 (PF2050) strategy review.
Farmers set to hit the slopes July 22, 2025
People enjoy a Skiing for Farmers event at Coronet Peak in Queenstown. PHOTO: SUPPLIED A skifield in the foothills of the Southern Alps near the Otago border is joining an initiative to give farmers a break on the slopes next month.
Shawn McAvinue
Mystery Car Trial fundraiser a hit July 22, 2025
The Waitane Young Farmers group raised more than $1500 for the Rural Support Trust with another successful scavenger hunt and raffle. PHOTO: GERRIT DOPPENBERG A scavenger hunt in Gore was a smash hit recently, raising more than $1500 for a support group, with organisers thrilled about the success.
Gerrit Doppenberg
Here’s hoping things remain positive July 22, 2025
Will Orpwood Cattle & Sheep Scanning owner Will Orpwood. PHOTO: SHAWN MCAVINUE Reporter Shawn McAvinue talks to Will Orpwood Cattle & Sheep Scanning owner Will Orpwood, of Wendon in Northern Southland.
Shawn McAvinue
Beyond the fence: on reading the Bible in this secular age July 22, 2025
The Bible still has things to say. Photo: Getty Images How should we read the Bible in the 21st century, Graham Redding asks.
Not too many concerns for Otago in hitout against Southland July 22, 2025
Otago’s Sam Nemec-Vial dives over for a try during a warm-up game against Southland at the University Oval on Friday. Southland winger Michael Manson and Otago openside Harry Taylor watch the action. PHOTO: GREGOR RICHARDSON New Otago coach Mark Brown has given his side a "sneaky B-plus" for their opening effort of his tenure.
Adrian Seconi
Sharks lose their bite when it counts July 22, 2025
The Southland Sharks played in the final of the NBL in Wellington on Sunday. PHOTOS: SUPPLIED The Southland Sharks timed their run to perfection — for all but one half.
Reserve’s grazing licence to be reduced July 22, 2025
Puketapu, above Palmerston, with its memorial cairn to 19th-century Otago politician Sir John McKenzie, is the annual destination of Kelly’s Canter, a race dedicated to Constable Albert Kelly who ran up to the summit every day during World War 2 to check for enemy ships. PHOTO: GREGOR RICHARDSON After a Waitaki District Council meeting recently […]
Andrew Ashton
Edendale, Wyndham in final face-off July 22, 2025
Edendale player Phillip Brown throws the ball into the air after scoring a try on Saturday afternoon. PHOTOS: GERRIT DOPPENBERG Wyndham and Edendale will meet in the division one club rugby final after winning their respective semifinals on Saturday.

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December 21, 2020

Sealord posts $29m full year profit

New Zealand’s Envy apples on track to be a billion-dollar brand

Electricity consumers paid $70 million more than needed last December – regulator

Regional economies: Agriculture strong, tourism struggling

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