Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

'I feel sorry for the lost': Bondi hero recounts confronting gunman December 29, 2025
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese visited Mr Al Ahmed in hospital a few days after the attack. Photo: Supplied / Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet A tobacconist who went viral for his extraordinary bravery wrestling one of the Bondi beach gunmen has spoken out for the first time about his instinctive actions.
China launches live-fire war games surrounding Taiwan December 29, 2025
A ship fires a weapon during drills east of Taiwan, in this screenshot from a video released by the Eastern Theatre Command of China's People's Liberation Army. Photo: Eastern Theatre Command/Handout via REUTERS China's military moved army, naval, air force and artillery units around Taiwan on Monday for its "Justice Mission 2025" drills, as the […]
At least 13 dead in Mexican train derailment December 29, 2025
A compartment is overturned at the site of a train derailment on the Interoceanic Corridor of the Isthmus of Tehuantepec, a railway line connecting Mexico's Pacific and Gulf coasts, where several passengers were killed and injured near Nizanda, Oaxaca state, Mexico. Photo: Social media screengrab via Reuters Mexican authorities said on Sunday that at least […]
Flatmates involved in alleged assault over dog's behaviour December 29, 2025
A Dunedin flat erupted into chaos after a man was allegedly assaulted by his flatmate due to the household dog behaving out of character.
Laine Priestley
String of motorbike crashes on Dunedin roads December 29, 2025
Photo: Getty Images Two teenage brothers driving around the neighbourhood on their dirt bikes found themselves getting blood taken by police after one crashed into a parked car.
Laine Priestley
Gull, NPD merger should bring fuel prices down - AA December 29, 2025
The proposal is subject to Commerce Commission approval. Photo: RNZ The Automobile Association believes a proposed merger between two fuel companies should drive down pump prices.
Govt urged to commit resources to tackling organised crime December 29, 2025
Chairperson of the ministerial advisory group on organised crime, Steve Symon. (File photo) Photo: RNZ / Nick Monro By Ellen O'Dwyer of RNZ The chairperson of a ministerial advisory group on organised crime says he won't be satisfied until he sees the government commit resources to tackling the issue of organised crime.
Tourism business ‘extremely distressed’ by road closures December 29, 2025
Portage Resort has been dealing with falling visitor numbers and cancellations as the team grapples with getting visitors through road closures. Photo: supplied A Marlborough Sounds tourism operator is “extremely distressed” by restricted access road closures, leaving them cut off from customers at the start of the peak summer season.
First sea lion pup of the season December 28, 2025
Tui and her pup having a snooze. Photo: Department of Conservation Tui the sea lion has given birth to the first pup of the Otago/New Zealand breeding season.
Pair injured after another brawl in Auckland December 28, 2025
Photo: ODT files Two people have been taken to hospital after another brawl in Auckland.

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