Synlait gets its vote; Spark sinks to nine-year low – Market close

By New Zealand Blog News Service Sep 18, 2024

The New Zealand sharemarket posted its third successive fall.
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By New Zealand Blog News Service

Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

No change to govt LNG plans, despite major price surge March 3, 2026
Energy Minister Simon Watts. Photo: RNZ By Giles Dexter of RNZ
Exciting pair named for Nuggets March 3, 2026
Ethan Rusbatch has been around the league for more than a decade. Photo: Gregor Richardson Ethan Rusbatch is indeed locked in for 2026.
Adrian Seconi
Adventure racers involved in dramatic rescue in Catlins March 3, 2026
Two people have been flown to hospital, one in a serious condition, following a water rescue in the Caitlins this afternoon.
Ruby Shaw
Hunter who shot Jock Davies avoids jail, family facing 'lifetime of hell' March 3, 2026
Jock Davies. Photo: Supplied By Katie Todd of RNZ
Canterbury fishing comp gives out $60K in prizes despite no fish caught March 3, 2026
All Blacks Sevens coach out of tour due to visa issues March 3, 2026
Tomasi Cama. File photo: Getty Images The All Black Sevens side will head to the New York and Vancouver legs of the World Sevens Series without head coach Tomasi Cama.
Luxury brands shut Middle East stores March 3, 2026
Luxury stores in Bahrain and other places in the Middle East have been closed. Photo: ruelleruelle/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images In Dubai and other major Middle Eastern shopping hubs, many stores are closed or operating with a skeleton staff as the escalating conflict in the region causes chaos for businesses and travel.
Thousands sign 'Commissioner for Animals' petition March 3, 2026
Animal protection organisations delivered the petition to Parliament today. Photo: Supplied / SAFE NZ By Monique Steele of RNZ Warning: Images in this article may be distressing for some people. More than 31,000 New Zealanders want an independent 'Commissioner for Animals' to improve welfare for companion and farmed animals.
Luxon backtracks on Iran March 3, 2026
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon. Photo: RNZ The Prime Minister has admitted he "misspoke" when he said New Zealand supported "any actions" to prevent Iran having nuclear weapons.
Weather didn't stop champs from going ahead March 3, 2026
Southern Stars performing their display. Photo: Morgan Fraser The annual Marching Otago Championships were held at the Edgar Centre in the weekend.

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Synlait gets its vote; Spark sinks to nine-year low – Market close

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