Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Drunk driver tried to blame crash on pregnant partner January 19, 2026
A disqualified, drunk driver told police his seven months pregnant girlfriend was behind the wheel in a crash, but the pair's seatbelt injuries told a different story. File photo: Getty Images A drunk and disqualified driver who crashed and flipped his faulty car with his pregnant partner in the passenger seat tried to say she […]
One NZ's 3G shutdown to begin in Dunedin tomorrow January 19, 2026
Some older model iPhones are among those affected the shutdown. File photo: Reuters One New Zealand is about to begin the first phase of its nationwide 3G network shutdown, starting with Dunedin tomorrow.
Oxfam report shows wealth, power of billionaires growing January 19, 2026
Billionaires (from left) Priscilla Chan, Mark Zuckerberg, Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos, Sundar Pichai and Elon Musk attend the Inauguration of Donald Trump on January 20, 2025. Photo: Getty Images Billionaire wealth surged at three times its recent pace last year to reach its highest level on record, deepening economic and political divides that threaten democratic […]
'Management speak mumbo jumbo': Hipkins responds to PM's speech January 19, 2026
Labour leader Chris Hipkins has called the Prime Minister's State of the Nation address a "whole lot of management speak mumbo jumbo".
Pauline Hanson's One Nation ahead of coalition in polls January 19, 2026
Pauline Hanson and Barnaby Joyce of One Nation following the Bondi terror attack last month. Photo: Getty Images Pauline Hanson has ambitions to turn One Nation into a genuine alternative to the mainstream political duopoly amid a seismic shift in Australia's political landscape.
'Cruelly stolen' Bondi victims honoured in parliament January 19, 2026
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has recalled parliament early, with a number of key pieces of legislation on the agenda, including the tightening of gun control laws. Photo: Getty Images Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has read out the names of 15 slain Hanukkah revellers whose lives were "cruelly stolen" in Australia's worst terror attack.
Luxon vows nothing 'extravagant' in State of the Nation January 19, 2026
By Giles Dexter of RNZ
NZ firefighters head to Australia to help fight bushfires January 19, 2026
Bushfires have burned tens of thousands of hectares in central Victoria, destroying multiple homes and other structures and forcing widespread evacuations under catastrophic fire conditions. Photo: Getty Images Fire and Emergency New Zealand (FENZ) has sent 22 firefighters to Victoria, Australia to help fight the catastrophic bushfires.
Crash causes delays on Gibbston Hwy January 19, 2026
A two-vehicle crash caused delays on State Highway 6/Gibbston Highway between Queenstown and Cromwell this afternoon.
Finding missing tramper involved 'huge amount of luck' January 19, 2026
Graham Garnett. Photo: Supplied/NZ Police A tramper who was found weeks after he disappeared in South Island bush had taken a wrong turn, police have revealed.

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